Single but not ready to mingle

Single not ready to mingle illustration - Illustrated girl smiling with long hair surrounded by illustrated pink love hearts.

Yasaman is flying the flag for the singletons.

Relationships? Nope, I don’t buy that.

I don’t even feign interest in such a thing, let alone show genuine interest. At this age, other factors are more important to me, like feeling alive today, badminton classes and the country I live in.

I sometimes wonder if people in a relationship have a degenerative disease. I mean, have you heard them speak to each other?

They make about as much sense to me as reading Harry Potter in braille. It kind of reminds me of how socially inept people can be.

What’s more, their attempts to make us singletons jealous are a great example of a catch-22. They want us to be jealous, but they don’t want to make it obvious that they’re counting days to be one of us.

My point is that being single is awesome (healthy, too) and right now it doesn’t look like I got the lesser end of the deal. Let me explain why…

First things first. It has to be said, there are loads of benefits to being single as opposed to being double (See what I did there?).

Those who are doubled up sometimes suffer from severe high and low moods and changes in behaviour, from smiling all day like an idiot to breaking into tears the next.

They’re more ridiculous than a slapstick comedy. It’s my profound belief that single people are quaint creatures who keep super calm and carry on.

‘Why?’ You ask. Well, maybe because only when we’re single can we see clearly. On the contrary, when people in a relationship are in a panic, or rushing, their brains will opt for the easy method of pairing with another human being for the sake of it.

They find it hard to keep up with themselves and thus buy into the idea of escaping to la-la land the whole time. But for me, being single, at least for the time being, is by choice not by chance. It’s a chance to revise myself and show the world that under no amounts of pressure will I care about what it thinks of my status. Surely, being in no relationship is better than in a relationship.

Now, before you rise in the air and protest defensively, l must stop and tell you something to dispel any doubts. I’m not a prude, asexual, or an militant feminist who demands the beheading of all couples.

For the record, I happen to be friends with some of the significant others. And, neither am I against the concept of being in a relationship. Aptly enough, I’m accepting of the downs, as well as the ups, of being in love. Being in a functioning relationship appeals to me, though I never think about marriage. Is that weird?

The only time I ever think about it is when my inquisitive friends ask me if I’d ever get married? It’s really not important to me. Marriage seems romantic. The idea of being husband and wife is appealing to me. But I also love the idea of inventing something that could find water in the desert. It’d be pretty helpful, don’t you think?

On a serious note, I promise I’m not bitter. Naturally I wish relationships worked and weren’t like a temporary contract for me to be bound by.

I don’t know about you, but I think we’re well and truly on the journey back to a place where being single is good. Single people out there, stop treating it with such gravitas; learn to chill. After all, being single isn’t that awful.

Illustration by Rosalie Whitingham

Featured photo courtesy of Dominic Rooney via Flickr