We look at how not to make the same mistakes in your 20s that people now regret.
Nobody can truly prepare you for how confusing your twenties may be. They are marketed as the happiest and most iconic parts of your life, a time for self-discovery, independence, and achieving your full potential.
However, for a lot of Generation Z, our twenties are more like a continuous process of self-reflection than just a highlight reel. We learned to compare ourselves in real time, grew up online, graduated into uncertainty, and saw how world events affected our sense of security.
The question, “Am I doing this right?” arises between needing stability and trying to enjoy the present.
One question I asked young people in their mid-to-late 20s was: “What would you tell yourself if you could restart your 20s?”
The answers were not dramatic; they were considerate, truthful, and often more sensitive than expected. The amount of time they felt behind was one of their most common regrets.
Many people talked of feeling under pressure to reach goals by a specific age, as if an invisible countdown clock existed over them and something would happen if they did not meet the goals.
Being surrounded by social media as a child meant that you were always seeing other people’s accomplishments and their professions going off, their relationships becoming stronger, and their passports getting more stamps on social media.
It became simple to think that life would never come together if it did not happen fast. Many people now regret not realising that there is no universal timeline telling you what the correct way of life is.
Being late in life does not necessarily show failure; rather, it typically shows that you are still discovering your true purpose of what you were meant to do.
In these reflections, travel was often mentioned as a means of education rather than as a means of escape. While some wished their travels had been different, many wished they had travelled more before their responsibilities grew.
In group travel seemed enjoyable, but it often worked out that goals and expectations were not matched. On the other side, solo travel was said to be deeply healing while first being uncomfortable. People had to stick with their thoughts rather than be distracted by them, trust themselves, and make decisions without validation while they were alone in a new area.
Many claimed that solo travel taught them more about themselves than years of everyday living, and even said they would not wait for the “right time” or the “right people” if they could go back to their 20s.
Another area where perspective provided clarity was in the workplace. In the beginning, a lot of people thought that being busy meant being successful. Chronic stress, long hours, and constant availability were viewed as signs of ambition.
Gen Z did not give up hustle culture; rather, it repackaged it with more gentle language and a focus on aesthetic fulfilment. In a way, some people regret not setting limits sooner and releasing their self-worth from being so linked to their work titles.
They came to understand that while work is vital, it should not take up all your identity. If they could start over, they would concentrate more on developing skills that can be transferred, picking workplaces that valued balance, and keeping in mind that a job is something you evolve over time rather than something you master in your early 20s.
Over this period, unexpected shifts occurred in family connections. As they learned to view their parents as humans rather than as authoritative figures, some people grew closer to their family. To keep their peace, others had to create emotional distance.
Many expressed regret for not being more patient with themselves and their family, realising that everyone is dealing with their own unsolved problems. If they could start over, they would talk more, ask more questions, and show love more honestly.
They came to the realisation that family time feels unlimited until it at once stops. Friendships changed as well. often the friendships that last into your twenties are not the ones you predict. Silence slowly replaces closeness, people shift, and priorities shift.
Many people said that they believed friendships were going to last forever, only because they started early. In a way, they wish they had worked harder where it counted and let go earlier when it did not.
It is not a sign of failure when friendships fade; rather, it’s a reflection of both sides growing a new sense of self. Rather than being based on convenience, friendships that are based on honesty, unity, and common goals are more likely to last.
For many, one of the decade’s biggest lessons was about love. Many admitted that they stayed in relationships longer than they should have because they felt validated by being selected, not because they were pleased.
Agreement was safer than loneliness. In the words of one person I spoke to: “I loved that someone wanted me, but I wasn’t in love anymore, and that gave me the impression that I was living a good life.”
Another said, “The incompatibility was often covered up by passion. I viewed confusion as a sign of enthusiasm. Years passed before I realised how worried I was all the time.”
They claimed that if they could go back in time to their 20s, they would prioritise growth above comfort and end confusing connections with attention. They would focus more on how their sense of self was affected by relationships.
Another person said, “I wish I knew that peace is a green flag.” They came to see that the issue was never being alone. “After my break-up, when there was no one left that could distract me from myself, I had the biggest self-discovery.”
Health and fitness were often ignored in the beginning before becoming a priority. Many people in their early 20s believed that their bodies were able to tolerate anything, even late nights, unpredictable routines, and ongoing stress.
“I honestly believed I was unbeatable. Back then, sleep seemed optional.” In a way, they regret not forming long-lasting habits rather than shifting between extremes.
Another added, “I kept trying to ‘fix’ my body instead of taking care of it.” They grew to understand that fitness was about energy, a clear mind, and longevity rather than beauty or punishment.
Someone pointed out that, “Working out became more about feeling okay than it was about looking good.” If they could start over, they would sleep guilt-free, move their bodies more often, and understand that self-care was maintenance rather than pride. Energy was one of the most important lessons people taught.
Many people gave their time, attention, and emotional labour to jobs, friendships, expectations, and situations that left them exhausted with unlimited access in their early 20s.
“I didn’t want to come across as ungrateful, so I said yes to everything.” “It wasn’t until I stopped that I realised how empty I felt.”
They would purposely protect their energy if they could restart. They would quit feeling bad about choosing peace, distance themselves from relationships that always drained them, and say no without feeling they must go into too much detail.
Another thought, “Burnout didn’t happen all at once. Every time I let myself go, it happens slowly.” They discovered that energy is limited and that how much you use it affects how your life feels.
When put together, these thoughts show a more relaxed reality about living life to the fullest in your twenties. It’s not about planning ahead or making the most of every second. It is about letting yourself develop without always judging, learning from experience, and making important adjustments when something no longer fits.
“I felt like I was failing because nothing felt settled.” Your twenties are more about learning about yourself, your relationships, your boundaries, and your goals than just about getting there.
Gen Z would not aim for perfection if they could go back in time to their 20s. They would realise that development does not always appear notable from the outside, slow down sooner, and have more trust in themselves.
“Some of the best changes in my life happened quietly.” The most important reminder of all is this: start living a life that actually feels like yours instead of trying to live a life worth just posting on social media.
All images courtesy of Kiera Mitchell-Camps.