AI is quietly changing the way people date, flirt, and express themselves. It starts as a harmless prompt or edited message, but using AI on dating apps can leave people anxious and struggling to find a human connection.
“Dating me is like finding an extra chicken nugget in your order. Unexpected, rare, and honestly kind of life-changing.” This is the result Chat GPT gives when you type in ‘give me a funny but flirty Hinge prompt’.
It is supposed to sound witty and playful, but instead, it sounds polished and generic.
AI is becoming embedded in dating apps, with nearly half of Gen-Z users using AI in their dating lives. For some people, AI is a useful shortcut to create a perfect profile or to sound more confident and attractive.
As AI is becoming more advanced and integrated within the dating scene, Gen-Z users are struggling to determine what is real and what is not, craving for more authentic dating experiences.
According to Hinge’s most recent report, 52% of their users have used AI to check whether their messages tick the ‘vibe test’. This seems harmless and gives many people an extra push to get themselves out there, but raises the question of how much is edited and how much of that person is real.
“AI is great for a gut check or getting unstuck, but the goal isn’t a perfect message. It’s a message that sounds like you, because you want someone to fall for your authentic self,” says Hinge’s lead relationship scientist, Logan Ury.
Dating in 2026 can be exhausting. The rise of AI in dating apps is a result of many users experiencing ‘dating app burnout’. In a Forbes survey, 78% of Gen-Z have reported experiencing this. The constant swiping, liking, ghosting, being ghosted, replying on time, and doing it all over again is repetitive and boring.
Now, companies like Bumble and Tinder are using AI as a solution to fix dating app burnout, making them fun again. Daters are given AI-curated matches from personality tests to help them save time and find the right match for them, providing less effort.
Hinge has recently released its first AI-powered coaching feature, a personalised coach-like experience that guides daters to make more “meaningful first impressions”.
The feedback will review your original prompt and either tell you, ‘great answer’, ‘try a small change’, or ‘go a little deeper’, in an attempt to help people showcase their personalities. These changes are supposed to make dating experiences more enjoyable, but the risk is that they are now being managed by AI.
On a New York Times podcast, one guest explained that they used AI to maximise their chances of meeting someone. They used AI to match and message people, enabling AI as a tool to filter out who is most compatible for them, a process that would become too time-consuming and tedious to do himself.
Ylenia Ceccarelli, a relationship therapist, met her partner on Hinge six years ago. “I think dating apps are great,” she said. “They worked for me.” But the dating landscape has changed in the last few years: “For the younger generation, there is definitely an increase in using AI, and there is also an increase in wanting that authenticity.”
Ceccarelli explains that AI can be comforting, as it is validating and tells people exactly what they want to hear, making it easier to start that first conversation. However, it can also make human connection harder if relied on too much, leaving people feeling awkward and not being themselves when online dating moves to in-person interactions.
“I always say to people, be mindful, and to move relatively quickly from the apps into real life. AI is good for a quick bio or prompt, but you want to connect with your future partner at some point, so you need to be careful how you use AI. The reality is that a real relationship requires a real kind of compatibility, unpredictability and commitment which AI cannot do.”
The rise of AI on dating apps is deepening concerns for many young people. Dating was already hard enough, but AI is making it harder. “It makes me sad for this generation, finding a real-life connection is hard, people have turned to online dating, and now it is getting even more disingenuous,” a frequent Hinge user said.
“It makes me feel like I can’t trust anything because you never know if someone is using AI to change how they look or sound.”
Dating is grounded in the messiness of being human. The awkward pauses, the strange habits, and unexpected jokes. You can’t teach ChatGPT how to be vulnerable with someone.
Being authentically yourself when dating means trusting that the right person will respond to your genuine self, embracing the awkwardness instead of hiding it.
Of course, AI can be used in some ways, but it shouldn’t become something we use to communicate with others, especially when trying to find a partner.
Dating has always involved an element of performance, picking the best picture of yourself and showing the most flattering side of your personality.
Dating online in the modern age, with the increased use of AI, makes dating less playful and exciting when a robot is doing everything for you. As Ceccarelli said: “The bit you’re losing is yourself and your authenticity.”
Featured image by Nikon Corporation via Unsplash.